Once a little boy, now almost a man.

Once a little boy, now almost a man.

Right now my oldest is gone out in the middle of the Altantic sailing and I was laying in bed just now thinking (this is why I never sleep, I think,and think and think and compose blog entries in my head that never make it to my computer) This one I got out of bed for................. this one made me cry.

Where does the time go? 

Just yesterday he would walk into my room at night and quietly say " can I pease seep with you mommy?"

I have been his sole teacher his whole life. 

I taught him to walk

I taught him to read

I taught him to say please and thank you

I taught him to be kind and generous

I taught him long division 

Always at home with me.
 I hope I was a good mom then. He was my first I now have 5. I learned to be a mom to him. I hope I did some things right. I hope he has many happy memories.

It was fun

it was hard

it was trying at times
sometimes I cried
sometimes he cried

sometimes I yelled 

sometimes he yelled

always wondering if I was doing the right thing ( still wondering)

He is a teenager ...

He goes to college full time ( he is 15)

he has a job now.

I see him grow, I watch his personality change and become so very independent.

I feel cheated at times for how fast this time went. 15 years was just a blink- gone so fast.

I am sorry dear Falcon-
You were  my first
my trial
the child I learned to be a better parent with
you got the roughest version of me
my rough draft.

You were and always will be
my blessing
my miracle

Never doubt that you are loved more than words can say.

Being a mom was always the one thing I dreamed of doing until I was told I may never have children.

Then I wanted to be an Astronaut  .....

Now a mom of 5

Life is full of miracles.

"Life is like a carousal,
Sometimes you are up.
And Sometimes you are down,
And sometimes you just go round and round.
Just remember to enjoy the ride"