Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I am Human, I am Flawed....

I am human, I am flawed!

My friend Sara just posted an entry in her blog about needing to fall in love with  parenting  again. you can read all about it here.

After reading her post and having a morning where I lost my cool, I felt the need to compose a post about this topic as well.

So there we were in the kitchen: my 13 year old and I. He was making breakfast (something he needed to do to earn his cooking badge for Boyscouts) I was overseeing the project and helping him along the way. (okay maybe criticizing a bit too much and being a bit control freaky about how he was doing things). I don't even know how it happened or what exactly set me off, but next thing I know I was yelling at him. Oh yes, I remember now. I showed him how to cut and wash celery then gave him the stalks. He then washed them and cut them without cutting the tops off. For whatever reason this  made me extremely mad and I lost my cool even to the point of grabbing my sons face when he tried to look away from me and give me attitude about the whole situation.

Ten  minutes later I apologized to him for grabbing his face and yelling.

I have been feeling very irritable lately and snapping at my children. Just because I have a 7 week old, 4 other kids, am sleep deprived and have a  a husband who works 7 days a week and loooooong hours at our business does not give me an excuse.

I need to be a better Mom.
I need to stop yelling.
I need to take a deep breathe and walk away sometimes.

I may look like I have it all together most days but a lot of the time I am screaming inside my head and trying so hard to keep a smile on my face and maintain my cool.

So if you see me  out in the world with all 5 of my kids know that I may look like I have it all together but I do not.

I am not perfect but I am working daily on becoming a better me.
This one made me laugh, I have never done this but close I did strip the sheets off of  the mattress then just threw a towel over the mattress and sent a child back to sleep instead of remaking the whole bed. I do use waterproof covers on the mattress so the actual mattress wasn't wet.

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